CIVIL servant from east London has spoken out about why she adopted her neighbour’s young twins after their mother suddenly died from cancer.
Mother-of-two Marcia Young took in Anne Meskell’s twins Eve and Nathan following their mother’s death from ovarian cancer.
Despite not being particularly close to Meskell, the 56-year-old civil servant, became the legal guardian of the twins after their mother died suddenly without specifying who would look after them if she died.
Fearing that the twins, who were conceived from an egg and sperm donation, would be separated and taken into care, Young decided to step in, the Mail Online reported.
“I feared they would be separated,” Young said. “When social services told me Anne hadn’t made a will stating who would look after her children, I stepped in.”
Although she was happy to take the children in, Young thought it would be for a short while and had anticipated that a close relative would come forward.
“At first I thought it would be until another family member came forward, but that never happened. So I vowed to look after Eve and Nathan like they were my own. I didn’t want them being taken away or separated.”
Now the 14-year-old mixed race twins live with Young – who they call Aunty Marcia – and consider her biological children Jasmine, 22, and Clarke, 23, to be their big sister and brother.
Big sister Jasmine said: “When they moved in we had to share rooms, though we all pulled together to make it work.
“Mum’s done a really great job raising the twins, they’ve learnt a lot from her, and she’s integrated them in to our family.”
Eve added: “We’d always wanted an older brother or sister so moving with Jasmine and Clarke was a dream come true.
“But it was strange when we finally did, because we’d just lost our mum.”
Young was happy to take on the extra responsibility of caring for two more children in her home, but ironically she was not particularly close to Meskell.
“We were neighbours rather than friends,” Marcia explained.
The two mothers first met in 2002 when Jasmine and Clarke were then nine and 10 and Eve and Nathan were just two.
Over the next six years the neighbours would stop and chat briefly when they saw each other outside their homes, but never really formed a friendship.
ILLNESS
In 2008 Meskell revealed to her neighbour that she had not been feeling herself, and complained of an upset stomach.
“She said her tummy had hurt for about six months. It didn’t sound like anything too serious at first,” remembered Young.
“She was told it was indigestion but it didn’t seem to get any better. She asked me to look after the kids for her, while she went to the hospital.
“Then she came home and said she had ovarian cancer.”
Meskell made the decision not to tell the twins, and underwent an operation to remove the cancer and began chemotherapy.
Concerned for her neighbour and her health, Young decided to step in and help out with the twins.
Young recalled: “She seemed so exhausted with all the treatment, I wanted to relieve her of some of the pressure and let her relax for a bit.
“Looking after her children for a few hours a day was nothing in comparison to what she was going through.”
She continued: “Anne didn’t have anyone else. Her mum was in her 80s and housebound, but I was happy to step in and help her out.”
In 2010 Anne needed a hysterectomy. The operation went well but afterwards her condition suddenly deteriorated.
“One day I went round and she’d lost so much weight it suddenly dawned on me how ill she was.
“She acted like she didn’t need any help, but she did. She was so strong. I think she was in denial.”
HAPPIER TIMES: The twins with their mother Anne before she became ill
Concerned that the children were not being taken care of properly, due to their mother’s ill health, Eve and Nathan’s school called to talk to Young.
Young said: “They’d heard I was helping Anne so they called me in to talk to me. I wondered if Anne was struggling to look after them at home, and if they were fending for themselves.
“I was asked if anyone could look after the children if Anne died.” It was at this point that the mother-of-two decided to take on Eve and Nathan.
“I said Eve and Nathan could stay with me until another home was found for them.
The 56-year-old added: “In the past Anne had said she wouldn’t allow anyone to take care of her kids, but she seemed to warm to me.
“There was nothing she wouldn’t do for them. Her only wish was to make them happy.”
In June 2011 Anne lost her battle to cancer and died, age 55.
Recalling the difficult time, Young said: “As I sat and hugged Eve and Nathan they asked me what was wrong with their mum, but I didn’t know what to say.
ADJUSTING
Four years since their mother’s death, Young thinks that the twins are adapting well despite the tragedy.
“At first I was worried about them getting used to life without their mum. But they were fine, and chatted away their memories of her.”
In 2012 Marcia became Eve and Nathan’s official legal guardian.
She said: “We’re one big happy family, the kids are like siblings. And I hope Anne is looking down, pleased with how we’re all doing.”
Jasmine said she loves her new younger siblings: “We didn’t want them going in to a home. I was so proud of Mum going over to Anne’s house to help her.
“It wasn’t her job, she wasn’t getting paid but she did it anyway.”
Jasmine also said that her mother had made a great effort to make the new family dynamic work.
Eve added: “Adjusting to life without her was hard at first, but having everyone around us, made thing easier. Living with Marcia is different because back home, when mum was ill, we were left to do a lot for ourselves.
“We’d be able to stay up late and watch TV.”
“But Marcia had rules we had to get used to. But we really respect her for it, now we know she was just looking out for us.”
She’s relieved to have a normal family life back again.
“We’ve been living with them nearly four years now and we’re really thankful to all of them.”
Marcia Young is currently supporting Target Ovarian Cancer’s 10K Walk in October at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in Stratford, London.
Comments
About Author
