By Pearson Mbendera
(News of The South) – People have always negotiated in life, that’s just the nature of living. We can’t escape it, sometimes going after what we want means that we have to negotiate our way out. People who are good at negotiating always get what they want, and sometimes they get it at the expense of others, it doesn’t sound fair but that’s life. There is no equitable, 50-50 position, negotiation is a tug of war, and you have to pull things to your side to get a favorable deal. How well you will pull, will depend on much mental strength you got on.
Donald trump, the billionaire real estate mogul is renowned for his negotiation skills. In his book, The Art of The Deal, he talks about a lot about negotiation and how he has, overtime, managed to get the best deals.
One of the mistakes people make during negotiations is to use their emotions to make the decisions. Emotions always cloud our judgment, and sometimes make us give in when we are supposed to get a better deal or to even walk away from a good deal because for some reason we feel negatively about the people negotiating with us.
In love and relationships, the power lies in whoever cares the least and he or she dictates the tempo of the relationship. That’s because their moves are more rationale and because they do not care or love that much, they have invested less in the said relationship thus they have little to lose should the relationship go south. That’s the same in a negotiation; anyone who is willing to walk away from it will always has the upper hand as they portray an image that they may get a better deal somewhere else.
Emotions take your eyes off the prize as you begin to feed your ego than face the situation at hand. Clouded by emotions, people forget why they are negotiating in the first place and get veered off the road to a better deal.
Emotional people in negotiations are more interested in the end result, whether they get what they are negotiating for or not and not the quality of the deal. But the quality and condition of the deal is more important than anything else.
The art of good negotiation isn’t something everyone is born equipped with, many people only realise it later after making a bad decision and are living the consequences of such a bad decision and for that reason, and everyone has to learn good negotiating skills.
Emotions make us hungry for a quick relief. In the Bible, the story of the twins Jacob and Esau shows how much hunger affects our negotiations. Esau, the older of the twins sold his birthright for some stew. His need for instant relief from hunger clouded his judgment to the point that he gave a lifetime possession (his birthright) over a one-time thing (a meal). If Esau hadn’t been too eager to please his hunger, he would have come up with a better deal, but as it turns out, by gaining just one meal he got, he lost a lot as in the end.
Africa is well known for getting bad deals from other non-African nations, that’s because we always go for negotiations when we are very much in need and don’t have anywhere else to go. The thing about negotiations is that, the fewer alternatives you have, the more you want to make of the only opportunity you have been presented with hence the more reason to be more emotional.
We all have emotions and we can’t do anything about them, we feel what we feel and want what we want. But negotiations are no place for emotions. The next time you are going for negotiations, don’t take your emotions with you, and don’t continue negotiating once they kick in. whatever you may be feeling, love, hate, anger or just hunger, do not sit down for the negotiation, sought it out first then negotiate. Alternatively, always take someone with you for negotiation, so that they can guide you through it, and when you start slacking off, they pull you back in the game. Happy negotiating.
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