This is a narrative based on a sorrowful real life story. However names have been altered to protect the Mbire clan of Zimbabwe.
BY DR MASIMBA MAVAZA
John was the first born in the family of five. He was the only boy in the family of five. When John relocated to the United Kingdom his decision was met with mixed feelings.
In the eyes of his family John was doing very well as a teacher in Zimbabwe. He had risen to be the school headmaster. When he kissed Zimbabwe goodbye nobody believed that John might not come back to his motherland to reconnect with his loved ones.
While in the UK John retrained and he became a nurse. Nursing brought so many opportunities in the UK. It brought immigration status, money and guaranteed a job after training. So John did not hesitate to take up a new profession as a nurse.
His family was having a life which was not modest. They did not meet all their needs in the UK. Besides the UK family, John became a bread winner in the extended family as it is cultural in Africa to look after the whole clan.
The bad news
The news of his death was devastating. It was very hard to believe. John was one of many Zimbabweans who succumbed to COVID 19 in the UK.
His death was less painful than his funeral. His son Tinevimbo said: “No one realizes how hard it is to plan a funeral, especially when it’s someone you saw just yesterday. Someone of your blood. Someone you truly love.”
The messiness of the loss alone was already enough to fill his entire body with stress, weighing him down like a tonne of bricks.
But little did he know, that was just the beginning of it.
I’m going to tell you about the worst experience he had at a funeral home, and I ask that you read these words with compassion and an open heart. I ask that you read these words because if you’re doing things in the way I describe below, you need to hear them.
Because this piece isn’t being written to complain. This piece is written to shake you in your chair and ask you to make sure you don’t know anyone who’s doing business this way at their funeral home.
Here’s what absolutely (for lack of a better word) sucked, A man who ushered Tinevimbo in the office at the parlour was already angry. He understood him because COVIa-19 alone was claiming over a thousand people a day.
He was told his dad was to be cremated. He was shocked as his father was a Zimbabwean of the Mbire tribe. They cannot be burnt in their death.
Tinevimbo wondered as he tried to understand the message. He simply saw the lips of the angry manager moving. He did not make sense of what he was saying. But what is Cremation?
Cremation is a process that transforms the remains of a person who has died into “ashes” using intense heat. These ashes are in fact tiny fragments of bone. Once the cremation is complete, the ashes are returned to the family of the person who has died.
The machine used to cremate dead bodies is called a cremator. A building in which cremations take place is called a crematorium.
In short cremation is reducing a beloved one into ashes but for what reason? If you wanted to repatriate the remains of your beloved one cremation was the only way out.
This was the most painful news to heap on the grieving grand parents for Tinevimbo. The parents of John. It has never been done in our tribe that a Mumbire can be cremated.
There are a lot of rituals which needed to be followed but these can never be followed when the great Mumbire has been reduced to ashes. One thing Soko does not play with is fire even in death.
The cremation service is the most painful one for a Mumbire. At one time you see the lifeless body of your beloved one in the most expensive coffin and in a twinkling of an eye the great Mumbire is reduced into a tiny box of ashes. God have mercy.
The World Health Organisation had given advice against repatriation. So the only way to repatriate John’s body was to cremate him. This was flowing against ubuntu/unhu culture of Zimbabweans and contrary to what we stand for and to who we are.
If you’ve not attended a funeral with a cremation before, you might be wondering what to expect, how long does a cremation service take, and what do guests need to know?
John’s coffin was taken to the location for the service and placed on a raised platform. The funeral service was held in a special dedicated room in the crematorium itself, this was because all COVID 19 victims were sealed in plastics then put in the coffins.
Only five people were allowed. Social distancing was strictly enforced. You can imagine the pain of seeing your mother in pain but you can not hug her or get closer to comfort her.
Guests gather at the location for the service. It’s important to arrive on time, as cremation services are usually held to a tight schedule. And there were only five mourners.
John’s service took only twenty minutes, although families can book more time (usually for an additional fee) in normal circumstances but these were not normal circumstances.
There was no order of service, which normally tells you what will happen at the cremation service, as well as the details of any songs, prayers and readings.
The programme was hushed even a funeral of a criminal had more honour than the honour bestowed on John. The committal began before it started and ended before it began.
At the end of the service, the coffin was taken out of the room to begin the process of being cremation. Curtains were moved across the coffin, and out of our view. Within seconds the celebrant or funeral director showed guests the way out.
There was no opportunity at this point to see the flowers that have been donated, and to give condolences to the family. It was so fast tracked. There was no wake after the funeral service. This is a reception at which food and drinks are served.
At John’s funeral there were no mourners to eat food while food was plenty. Here, guests did not talk and share their memories of the person who has died. The disrespect was induced by the fear of infection.
John’s son, Tinevimbo was taken aside to be briefed the funeral director he had collected the person who has died, and kept him in a cool, temperature-controlled room in the funeral home until the service can take place.
Ahead of the funeral, the person who has died will be washed and dressed in clothing chosen by their family. But in John’s case no one was allowed to touch his body.
John’s body was stripped as Synthetic clothing, shoes with rubber soles and soft toys are usually not allowed, as well as hollow items like bottles, containers and (as is traditional in some communities) coconuts, which explode.
Items with a battery in, like mobile phones, were taken out of the coffin before cremation. Before the cremation takes place, the cremation chamber was heated to around 870-980 ºC.
The coffin was then placed in the chamber, where a column of flame ignites it.Cremation took about one and a half to three hours, after which only bone fragments were left. Next, a powerful magnet was used to pull metal fragments out of the ashes. John’s son was told a kind of grinder called a cremulator was used to turn the bone fragments into a fine, grey-white powder.
Then the ashes were placed in a container called an urn and given to the family.
It was then left for the family to transport the ashes to Zimbabwe.
So many questions remain in the minds of the bereaved.
Are the ashes we are burying solely ashes of the dead? Are we not carrying ashes of others? How do you know that you have transported the ashes of the beloved ones to Zimbabwe?
Tine and his mother received the ashes and as of today only God knows whose ashes are those.
Now there is no flight taking anybody home. The only flight available is so expensive.
Tinevimbo sat with tears wetting his cheeks. He can not bring the burnt soul of his father to the land of the Mbires for decent burial. But is the soul burnt? Do the Mbires live on after they are they burnt?
Is it a bad omen to keep the remains of your father trapped in a small container in the house?
Is anybody listening?
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