By Patience Maganzo
Harare, Zimbabwe (News Of The South) – Lesley Amos, based in the UK, secretly tied the note last year with Mavis Sibanda, behind his customary wife’s back. He is said to have paid dowry for his new bride and wedded her so they could process her UK Visa.
Dorothy Mthethwa, his wife, upon finding out, had their union nullified at court. In light of the recently published marriage bill, as well as the previous marriage act, customary marriage is viewed as legal matrimony in court. She said.
“My advice to women who will be put in the same situation as mine is that stand for your rights. If you are violated, approach the courts for redress even if you are married customarily, you also have rights, and the law recognises that marriage so sue your husband and his mistress until they know what they are doing is wrong.”
It has become common knowledge in Zimbabwe that a significant number of men cheat, most women believe it is just how they are. A popular saying that the only one aware of her husband’s movements is a widow, insinuating that all men cheat, you probably just haven’t found the evidence yet. From the top brass to the nobodies, they are accused of cheating, and the women are advised to endure, the husband will come around, “shinga mudzimai”.
Small houses are usually financial beneficiaries in these relationships, hence most enter these affairs knowing there is a wife at home.
People get enticed with what they don’t have, be it cars, phones or even relationships, but lust is a major cause why married men have small houses. The small house usually goes an extra mile to please the man, so he keeps coming back time and again. On the other hand, some are deceitful, they lie to the women about their marital status so as to get involved with an individual. They can go to the extent of promising to wed them whilst keeping the wife and children a secret. Double lives and families are created.
Quite a number of men have been caught cheating, making the headlines here and there. With the most recent case being that of the ZETDC senior human resource manager, Christopher Mudembe, who has been accused of multiple sexual relationships with other women although he is married. This is also a common practise at workplaces as subordinates are used by their bosses in order to keep jobs or to get elevated at work. The economic situation does not make it any easier, there is no job security, getting something to do is not as easy hence it happens that those with senior positions at an organisation use that to their advantage to exploit these defenceless women.
The most affected are students on attachment and contract workers, who will be promised various pecks hence they become involved with married men. Though it is illegal to be involved with a subordinate in most companies, the women do not report for fear of victimization or job loss. These issues only come into light when the couple has been caught usually pants down. It is essential therefore that workplaces implement sexual harassment policies and procedures and ensure to enforce them.
There are a number of problems that arise due to these extra marital affairs, the family being the wife and children, are the most affected. The issue of heartbreak, threat of various sexual infections to the unsuspecting spouse, monetary issues, a potential divorce that may be looming as well as tearing the family apart.
At the end of the day, knowing one’s rights is important. Reparations may be claimed, termed as the adultery damages, for the contumelia and consortium losses. Weddings can be nullified, but how about changing the tradition and removing this “men are trash” label.
Comments
About Author
