By Masimba Mukichi
Zimbabwean women are ‘wearing trousers ‘in relationships in the UK. What is the root cause?
There is a grave concern among men in the UK, that Zimbabwean women have become self- styled bullies and domineering wives. God’s wish at the creation of mankind was that a woman was meant to be the helper and best-half of a man, mukadzi imbabvu ye murume.
I am a great supporter of women’s rights and empowerment but I am equally puzzled, so as others, as to why our women are throwing the conservative values of a happy married African woman into the dust bin. Is it because of the tasteful Pound-sterling?
The men I had the chance of listening to – talking over a beer and braai at our usual drinking ‘water hole’agreed that some Zimbabwean women have lost the plot of a conservative marriage used to be enjoyed by our forefathers. Whilst we were sipping Vodka on ice I had the chance to listen to what they thought were the causes of Zimbabwean women supremacy in relationships in the UK. Fabulous reasons were advanced.
Liberty from Swansea, whilst laughing said: ‘’Hey, guys, the root cause for this is that our women here in the UK, no longer value marriages. They know that they can pay back the bride price paid for them in a one off payment. They are earning more than their husbands here.”
Amidst laughter Robert dropped another bombshell: “They can now afford to fill the Tesco shopping trolleys with groceries without begging for pennies from their spouses. State benefits are making them wild. They know that even if they divorce their spouses – they are assured of food on their tables daily. ”
Sipping Vodka on ice, Richard chipped in: “The welfare system is giving them leverage they are assured of accommodation in the event of kicking out their partners. They have an open cheque in form of benefits. They can even get help from Social Services and Citizens Advise Bureau. This was not the norm in Zimbabwe.”
Gilbert chipped in and said: “You know these wives bully us to the extent of telling us what to and what not to do in the sack.They do this to us because they know that if we complain they can cry rape and call the police for us. In Zimbabwe I haven’t heard of a situation where a husband is known to have raped a wedded wife. Here they can lock you in, if your wife dares call the police. This makes women here more powerful than us men. They know they can get romance easily on the internet dating sites. Most of them feel it is now harmless fun to have one night stands even if they’re in a marriage.”
“You have a point, Gilbert,” responded Richard. “These women wear trousers in marriages because they know that dating sites are plenty, they can easily date men of other races without a struggle,unlike in Zimbabwe where dating sites are still not so popular due to few people having computers and lack of viable internet connection.”
Richard nodding his head in agreement, said: “These wives are now citizens of this country that is why they toss us.They know that we have to dance to their tune in order to get citizenship.They came here before us and we have to worship them – the power to determine our future and stay here is in their hands. That is why the bully us and wear trousers in relationships.”
Gilbert interjected: “Most of them have retrained through access courses and they are now nurses and care workers, these are the only jobs which can guarantee you perpetual employment and steady flow of income. Most of men shun these jobs as a result we end upon employed and we end up dancing to their tune because they will be having steady flow of income than us.”
Puffing out smoke from a cigarette through his pursed lips, Robert said: “My observation is that women with one or more kids are the ones dumping and bullying their husbands. They know for real that they have an ‘open cheque’ in the number of children they have. They can claim child benefits for them. Schools are for free here so there is no hassle in raising school fees. Free meals can be provided for these children at school as well. The more children they have the greater the benefits.”
Richard grinning responded: “I think its ‘bitter sweet’ for these ladies to bully their husbands. They are compensating for the lost freedom they couldn’t exercise back home. Remember most of these women are a product of years of bullying from their spouses back home. Now the tide has turned it’s their turn to bully them. Guys, let us not blame them totally, revenge is bitter and sweet at the same time.”
Gilbert said: “Guys the underlining factor is that most of these women are bullying their spouses because they really know that they can easily get the basic needs, viz, food, shelter, clothing, and sex without ‘breaking their backs’ for it.”
After a couple of glasses of Vodka on ice, we all left the ‘waterhole’ at once staggering.
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